Sunday, December 9, 2012

post 3


A concept that stood out to me this semester was when we learned about verbal and non-verbal communication. When I entered high school a lot of people didn’t like me because they said I didn’t look approachable. Non-verbal communication is the most important in my opinion because the non-verbal communication you make is the reason why someone does or doesn’t talk to you. If you want someone to approach you, you have to actually look approachable. Verbal communication is what keeps people around and makes relationships strong. People don’t realize how communication can make or break a relationship. In my family our biggest issue is communication. Being in this class has helped me improve my communication skills with my family. My communication with my family is important because I have moved away from home, keeping our communication strong is very important. Being in college and having roommates that I don’t know can be very frustrating because we are all different. Communication has made our apartment run smoother. 

Post 2


What I liked most about this class is that the website to blog was very easy to access and easy to post. The questions were never confusing and pretty self-explanatory. It was easy to communicate with other students. What I didn't like is that we had to wait 12 hours to post and that we had to comment on 3 peoples posts.it was hard to remember to post sometimes because there was no actual class to be reminded of the work that was due.  I think there should be a way to meet up in person because sometimes it’s easier to talk about grades or problems in person. Using two websites to keep track of the class also got confusing at times. I would sometimes forget to go on D2L to take the tests or quizzes or to see prompts for the essays. I wish this class wasn't online; learning about all the different types of communication would have been really interesting to learn from a professor. 

Saturday, December 8, 2012

#1 dec 3-9


In this course I have learned the different stages of friendship and that there is more to communicating than just talking. Knowing the different stages of friendship has helped me understand what my best friend and me are going through. I compared our friendship to the stages and realized that we fit right in on how we met and got close. It also never occurred to me that there were different styles of loving. Its weird how we can love things different, like the love you have for your phone is different than the love you have for a boyfriend or girlfriend. Storge is the type of love I have with my boyfriend right now, we started off as friends and I would have never though id ever be with him and love him how I do. This class has helped me re-evaluate my relationships and communication skills. Knowing the different stages of relationships can help anyone with their relationships. 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

post #3 nov12-18


In the chapter the most interesting concept to me was the family life cycle. This cycle consists of seven stages. The seven stages are establishing, enlarging, and developing a family, as well as encouraging independence, launching children, post-launching of children, and retirement. This is interesting to me because my parents are going through these stages and I will soon be going through the same stages. Learning about these stages are very interesting because everyone goes through them but have their own ways of dealing with all the challenges that arise. I am learning from my parents about how to successfully fulfill all of these stages properly. My parents are launching kids right now, I am out of the house but there are five other kids at home. I will soon have to go through all the stages of the family life cycle. I have learned a lot from my parents and hope to have smooth sailing through al the stages. 

post #2 nov 12-18


In the next 50 years I believe that marriage isn’t going to last as long. I feel like marriage isn’t as important as it used to be, people aren’t going to be as committed. Being married won’t be as important anymore, people wont want to be married. I believe that people wont want to go through all the troubles of getting married and they will just want to stay as boyfriend and girlfriend. There is a lot more responsibility on being married, it isn’t a joke anymore. You have to stay committed to them and realize that you want to be with them forever. People will start having kids without being married and it will become a lot more normal. I honestly can’t even think about myself being, arrived because I know it will be different than how my parents are. My parents are married and so in love, I cant see people be that in love in 50 years. 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

post #1, nov12-18


When I hear the word family the first thing I think of is those people you can trust that will always be there for you. The meaning of family is a group of people that you happened to be related to that you couldn’t pick, but they will be the closest things to you. My immediate family is really close and we love each other, there is a lot of criticism with my cousins, it seems like they can’t keep their mouth shut. Both of my parents are very supportive and don’t criticize my decisions. They do try and get me to set an example because I am the oldest. Family members are always supposed to be there even when no one else isn’t. I believe that you have to treat family better than friends because they are the ones that are there until the end. My parents partake in total marriage; they are both in love and spend as much time as they can together. 

Sunday, November 11, 2012

post #3 nov 5-11


This week I found the topic of navigation the most interesting. Navigation is the process of staying committed and living life together. I think this is important in my life because I am currently in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I can stay committed but we really can’t be together. We technically live a life together but not actually physically together, we constantly talk and face time. We have our ups and downs and it is a let harder to get through it because we are fighting over the phone. Relationships are about the ups a downs, it not always perfect. Communication is really important in long distance relationships because trust is a big issuer. The process of navigation helps you realize that you have to be committed no matter what and know that relationships aren’t perfect and you have to love the other person if you want to keep going 

Post #2 nov 5-11

Commitment and love are both things you need in a serious relationship. I believe that love is easy to fake, but you can't fake commitment. My last relationship was long distance and love was present but there was no commitment. My boyfriend would tell me he loved me but would never make an effort to talk to me or to come and visit. My friends would always say that I was lucky because they could tell he loved me, but they didn't know how hard it was to have someone who didn't put the time and effort into our relationship. I believe that commitment is the most important thing in a relationship. When someone shows they're committed to you it can also show how much they care and love you. When someone is committed to you cheating and lying will not be present in the relationship, adding love to that relationship would make it a whole lot better.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Post #1 week nov. 5-11

In an online relationship I do not think it is ethical to misrepresent yourself to the other person. In both face to face and online relationships deception can be a factor, but online it can be worse because there is no one there to verify the information you put out there. You can basically create the person you want to be and no one will find out. In a face to face relationship it is easier to get caught in a lie. Online relationships are more dangerous because of sexual predators. Online you really dont know who you are talking to unless you know them in person already. People can also put fake pictures online and you won't really know who you're talking to. In high school a girl I knew made a fake Facebook profile using her cousins information and picture. She always had a good looking boyfriend and no one could figure out how.  When you asked her about her boyfriend she didn't know what to respond and she finally told everyone it was a fake profile and her boyfriend didnt even know what she looked like. 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

post #3


The concept I picked to discuss in detail this week is pressures on friendships. There are both internal tensions and external pressures. Internal tensions are stresses that come along with relationships and interactions. Relational dialectics, diverse communication styles and sexual attraction are all part of internal tensions. Relational dialectics create tension because both people in the friendship have conflicting needs. Diverse communication styles is when a friendship is strained because misunderstandings when both people have a different cultural backgrounds. Sexual attraction can cause different tensions depending on your sexuality, when feelings arise in a relationship you need to let the other person know. External pressures are when friendships have pressure from outside sources. Competing demands, personal changes, and geographic distance are all parts of external pressures. Competing demands is when you have outside commitments that need your attention as well. Personal changes are when are friendships change as we grow, the experiences you go through in life can change friendships; no matter how close you are with the other person. Geographic distance is when both friends are in a different place; distance in friendships can ruin your relationship.

post #2


I have a lot of friends but my best friend is Jessica, we’ve been best friends since the 9th grade. When we first met she didn’t like me because I came from a different middle school than her. I didn’t know anyone when I started high school and it was hard making friends. When Jessica and I became friends we did everything together. We hung out almost everyday, and she became really close to my family. We told each other everything and trusted each other with all of our secrets. We got close with each other’s families as well. When we graduated high school I moved away for college and Jessica stayed home, so we don’t see each other as much anymore. In the book it says that trust is the main thing in a friendship and I totally agree. Since Jessica and I moved away from each other we have to trust each other even more. We also make time for each other when I go back home to visit.

Friday, November 2, 2012

post 1 oct 29- nov 4


I visited the friendship page and was really confused on what to read. In the advice forum I really didn’t find any friendship problems, all I saw were ads and links to other websites. I will just talk about the problems that arose in this weeks reading and how important they are to keep a friendship. Trust is a big problem that is talked about in this weeks reading. A whole relationship is built on trust and if there is none then there is no relationship. My best friend lives six hours away from me and we tell each other everything, I trust that she is not going to tell her new friends things I tell her in private. In this weeks reading it also talked about how you have to give time to your friends to hang out even if you’re in another intimate relationship with a boyfriend/ girlfriend. That is true because if you break up with that person your friend will be the one they’re helping you deal with it. Neglecting a friend for a boyfriend or girlfriend is not right.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Post 2 Oct 1-7


The fallacies discussed in the chapter are perfectionism, obsessions with shoulds, overgeneralization, taking responsibility for others, helplessness, and fear of catastrophic failure. Fear of catastrophic failure is what I struggle the most with. All my family lives in LA, so I am alone at San Jose State, when I think about my family I think about the worst happening to them. There was a recent tragedy in the family and that hasn’t made anything better. Using self-talk can help a lot with these fallacies. The fallacy of perfectionism is something that a lot of people struggle with. When I am going to make a decision I talk to myself a lot, pretty much talking myself out of it. We can use self-talk to reassure ourselves and bring back the confidence. Being more positive about situations will help me a lot with my intrapersonal communication, and not having fear of catastrophic failure. 

post 1 Oct 1-7


Organismic view of emotions is when we feel emotion because external stimuli cause physiological changes in us. An example would be if you get a bad grade on an exam and it causes you have a knot in your back. I have a lot of back pain in class, it could have something to do with a philosophical changes. When I am really stressed my back tends to start hurting, maybe if I didn't stress so much I wouldn’t have back pains. Perceptional view of emotions is when we give a meaning to something that doesn’t usually have a meaning. Everyone has his or her own meaning to different things. For example a fist, when someone raises a fist at me I think they want to "pound it", which means that we touch fists. It also can mean that someone is ready to fight. When it becomes significant people give it a meaning.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Post 2 week 24-30


After reading “Listening is a 10 part skill” I realized how important listening actually is and all the different ways people listen. I learned that while listening to someone speak you need to give yourself guiding questions to actually learn something and hear what they are saying. One part to listening is “judge content, not delivery,” this means that you listen to what is being said and not who or how they are saying it. This is very true because if an attractive guy were to be speaking to me all I would be concerned with is how cute he is. His words wouldn’t even mean a thing. I have a hard time with number 7, which is “resist distractions.” My main distraction is myself because I think too much; my thoughts over power my brain. If I am listening to someone and music starts to play I will easily be distracted and probably start singing the song in my head. 

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Post 1, week 24-30


After reviewing the six types if non listening I realized that I use two of them in the way I communicate. Monopolizing, which is when you try and make the conversation about yourself and Ambushing, which is listening enough to gather information to attack the speaker; are both types of non-listening I partake in. Some of my friends have told me that I like to make the conversation about me, I really haven’t noticed but then they gave me examples. What I have tried to do is to think before I speak. It helps me realize that I was about to say "oh I do that too," or say something having to do with the word I. Ambushing only take place with certain people I talk to. I have a friend who always wants to argue, when I talk to him I keep my guard up so that I can argue back with whatever non-sense he is talking about. I really don’t need to fix this problem because I only do it to certain people and can control it when needed.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

hate speech

By reading the article on hate speech, I know understand that hate speech is when someone talks down to someone by making false statements. It can be hate towards race, sexual orientation, age and gender, A lot of people are against hate speech because it causes hate and can cause fighting. I do not believe that we should try to fix the problem because it goes against the first amendment. Hate speech is everywhere, it would be really hard to fix the problem with just one rule change. With newer technology there are a lot of ways hate speech can appear. Social media websites allow people to involve themselves in hate speech without another person even knowing who they are. There is no point in trying to censor the internet because it wouldn't work. People should just try and stay away from a negative situation where hate speech might accure.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Post 1

I do not think that American Society is one big melting pot. I agree with Jessie Jackson that America is both a rainbow and a family quilt, because every culture is the same. The metaphor that i think describes American culture the best would be trail mix. It is one big bag full of different flavors and textures that just go together. The saltiness of peanuts, sweetness of the M&M's and the fruitiness of the raisins just all go together. Just like trail mix, the United States and the different cultures should thrive on their own but also be able to fit together and get along. I also believe that other cultures should make an effort to become accustom to other cultures to make the world a better place. I believe this is important so that cultures in America aren't close minded to other cultures and are open to learn about new ones.